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Wysłany: Sob 2:05, 19 Mar 2011 Temat postu: salvatore ferragamo on sale 0310 |
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Are Lobsters Holding You Down? by John Sparry
Sometimes our closest friends, family members, and even our spouse can be lobsters. Are you acquainted with any of these walking, talking crustaceans? You probably know lots of them, and you��re in good company if you do. Almost everybody has at least a few in their phone book or Facebook friends list. If you want to experience great success in any part of your life, however, be aware of how much time to spend with them.
What is a lobster?
We��re talking about people of course �C people that mimic a particular behavior of lobsters. In restaurants, food processing plants, or wherever they are prepared in mass quantities, multiple live lobsters are added to pots of boiling water all at once.
Now I love crab, lobster, and other delicious critters from the sea, but I��m a softy and hate to think about how they are prepared. I can��t help but feel sorry for the little animals. For those of you who are bit squeamish like myself, I apologize, but the analogy it represents is so dead on target, it must be used.
Back to the pot of boiling water�� Naturally the lobsters want out. They scramble around, doing their best to climb the sides of the pot to find cooler surroundings. Some of them succeed in hooking their claws over the rim and begin pulling themselves to relative safety.
And then it happens. Other nearby lobsters reach up, clamp on to those escaping, and pull them back into the water. The cooks are all familiar with this behavior and don��t even bother to put a lid on the pot. There is no need.
Do you see how this relates to people? As you reach out for something new or better, do you hear voices around you telling you that you will fail? That you��re wasting your time? You can��t possibly succeed because you��re not good enough? You��ll fail because your new venture is too hard or too silly or it��s a scam? These are the words of lobsters. They are trying to pull you back into the pot.
Why are they working against me?
There are lots of reasons. Sometimes they are genuinely worried that you will burn through your time, money or other resources. Usually, however, they are afraid you might succeed. They are comfortable where they are. Even if they are miserable, it��s a misery they are familiar with. Your success would do one of three things:
1) Bring change. You might make new friends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do different things, or otherwise bring a new dimension to your relationship. This is fairly common as many people fear the unknown.
2) Shine a spotlight on them. If your actions prove successful, it will draw attention to their inaction or unwillingness to stop doing the same old thing and try something new. They don��t want to step out of their comfort zone. By reaching new heights, you will have effectively taken away their excuse �C it��s too hard, it��s not possible, it��s a scam,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], etc. The ugly truth, that they alone are responsible for their situation, will be revealed.
3) Make them jealous. (This can be related to the first two. ) Few humans live their lives without feeling pangs of jealousy from time to time. It becomes very easy to clamp a claw onto a friend or family member and justify it as being ��in their best interest��.
What can I do about the lobsters in my life?
This is a big question that requires serious consideration. If your friends are pulling you down, you might want to limit the amount of time you spend with them, or find new friends altogether. I know that sounds harsh, but how can you keep a positive attitude when people around you continue to tell you how ridiculous your ideas are?
What if the lobsters in your life are family members? This can be much trickier, especially if you live with them. My advice would be to avoid discussing you goals and dreams with them. When they ask you if you are still working on that hair-brained scheme, tell them you tinker with it once in a while and then change the subject. Don��t share your passion, as they will only try to smother it.
What if your spouse is the one with claws? Ah, this is the most difficult lobster to deal with because you are so close and share so many intimate life details. As I see it, you have three choices: get a divorce, try to change his/her mind, or march on as best as you can. The first option should be tossed aside in most cases, since you will very likely lose much,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], much more than you gain.
I believe trying to change your spouses mind is worth a shot, but as most of us wedded folks know, talking a cat into taking a swim would likely be an easier task.
That leaves only one other option �C trudging ahead without their support. This can be a tough road. I have seen first hand how quickly a spouse can crush their mate��s enthusiasm. Yet it is not impossible. Countless times men and women have persevered over the frequent negativity drifting into their ears. They ignore it and stay focused.
Although the husband or wife can be the toughest to convince in the beginning, once results become apparent, they are far more likely to reevaluate their position and get on board.
Avoid lobsters where you can. When that is not possible, keep you eye on the prize and persevere. Your determination,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], moxie and overall positive attitude can bring you through.
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