coach wedge Cancer, Anger, and R Coach Crossbody B

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Words of encouragement, enlightenment, and affirmations abound in books, on television [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and over the internet, saying a positive mind will do a lot to help fight the fight. Anger is a natural and justified reaction to diagnosis and treatment, and it is important for those who are part of a patient’s support network to accept and allow these feelings to manifest.
In Barbara Ehrenreich’s excellent article, “Smile! You’ve got cancer” (an excerpt from her recent book Smile Or Die: How Positive Thinking Fooled America And The World) , she investigates this culture of hope, with a frank and direct discussion from the point of view of someone who has been through it. She argues that positive thinking can actually be harmful to a patient’s health, and the effort expended to live up to the expectations of having a great attitude can do more damage than good.
Friends
Healthcare providers are there to support and advise a patient during treatment. This relationship is sometimes contradictory, however, in that those who are there to administer care are those who are giving out the bad news. Being angry at
Spouses/Partners
This is not to say that positivity does not have a place, but it is important to acknowledge that anger is appropriate and necessary in this circumstance. Anger most certainly affects personal and professional relationships before, during [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and after cancer treatment, and those closest to a patient – spouses/partners, friends, co-workers, and doctors - feel the brunt of the anger most.
An intimate relationship is deeply affected by cancer. Physical and emotional changes are pronounced, and a partner, because they are not experiencing these changes first-hand [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], often has trouble understanding what the patient is going through. This can breed a lot of hostility. Not surprisingly, many relationships end during or after treatment. Open communication, and frank discussions are necessary in order to ensure that neither partner feels alienated during treatment and recovery.
Friends are an integral source of support and well-being for cancer patients. They are often more important than family, and carry a heavier load when it comes to managing day-to-day needs. Friendships can often become strained with the roller-coaster of emotions that occur during this stressful time. Feelings of anger toward friends often stem from the patient not being able to join in the activities they once loved. The “I wish I were normal” feeling leads to frustration and ultimately anger. A heavy reliance on friends can also cause someone to become angry if they aren’t readily available. The key to maintaining and nurturing friendships is to allow the relationship space and time away when needed, and honest communication about wants and needs. A supportive friend can often feel obligated to be the “rock,” and not give themselves permission to spend time away. Friends must be given license to recharge and rejuvenate, in order to bring their full caring and concern into the situation.
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Family
Family dynamics are strange at the best of times, and cancer brings extra pressure into this relationship. Patients often feel stressed about caring for their children, and other family members will sometimes compete for who is able to provide the best care. Patients can feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of family members who show up at their houses to help out. Family usually has the best intentions, but telling them when to get out is absolutely necessary.